Saturday, March 19, 2011
Quick Note
I suppose I could write something today. Im going to be starting some new business ventures. This will be my virtual diary. Stay tuned for a inside look into the life and adventures of Cam. LOL. No but seriously. Stay tuned.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Love
Sometimes it takes for the world around you to be turned upside down in order for you to see who really loves you. A lot of people say that they love you and its easy for me to say anything. But when its time to follow up with the action a lot of people fall short, including myself. Over the past year I have gone through by far the roughest time of my life. I used to call a lot of people friends and a lot of people family. Not anymore. Some people are just a part of your life for a season. And for some people you are in their life for the same purpose.
Its so easy to stand beside a person when they are living upright. On top. Living an admirable life. But its a different story when it gets grimey. And they are no longer living a respectable life, when theyre living foul, doing shit that they wouldnt normally do. It takes for you to really love a person to stand up and stand beside them and help them find their way to the light. Most people say hey they are grown they will change when they are ready and they turn their backs and keep living their lives. There are few people that feel as if they have an obligation as a friend, family member, or better yet christian to try to lead a "loved one" out of the dark. Or maybe they do feel a sense of obligation and you are not the one that they feel obligated to help, and that just means that the love is not there. Because with love comes obligation. So be careful who you say you love, and dont believe everyone who says they love you. To a lot of people its only a word.
Its so easy to stand beside a person when they are living upright. On top. Living an admirable life. But its a different story when it gets grimey. And they are no longer living a respectable life, when theyre living foul, doing shit that they wouldnt normally do. It takes for you to really love a person to stand up and stand beside them and help them find their way to the light. Most people say hey they are grown they will change when they are ready and they turn their backs and keep living their lives. There are few people that feel as if they have an obligation as a friend, family member, or better yet christian to try to lead a "loved one" out of the dark. Or maybe they do feel a sense of obligation and you are not the one that they feel obligated to help, and that just means that the love is not there. Because with love comes obligation. So be careful who you say you love, and dont believe everyone who says they love you. To a lot of people its only a word.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Detox
Its three o clock im all alone
You left me here all on my own
What was a home is now a house
The love is gone, hate kicked her out
Im suffering as we speak
Like a sickness you have left me weak
I need medicine and then therapy
I wont let you be the death of me
My heart broke its in a cast
its healing but it wont love like the last
Call it rehab im in detox
As i get rid of you my bodies in shock.
Its killin me but I have to fight through
Ill do anything to be free of you.
You left me here all on my own
What was a home is now a house
The love is gone, hate kicked her out
Im suffering as we speak
Like a sickness you have left me weak
I need medicine and then therapy
I wont let you be the death of me
My heart broke its in a cast
its healing but it wont love like the last
Call it rehab im in detox
As i get rid of you my bodies in shock.
Its killin me but I have to fight through
Ill do anything to be free of you.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Ode To You
It started long ago
I was just a young girl
I met this boy...I never knew he'd rock my world
Now he's a man dark skin with a airbrushed fade
I let this nigga in my life now it will never be the same
He had this swag and treated me like a lady
Fuck the money he didnt need a mercedes
Cuz he was mad real and he had mad style
the way the nigga put it down that shit drove me wild
I remember all the nights he had my legs thrown back
tuggin the back of my hair he gave that ass a smack
Then I would lay inside his arms until we fell asleep
then God gave us an angel of our own we could keep.
And what felt so good somewhere went bad
I dont want to believe it...we gave it everything we had
But now things are getting worse and your not the same person
now everytime that we're together feels like we're rehearsing
Now its like you play me...then I play you...and if you get over I write an I.O.U.
Now you hate me... so I hate you
And since I hurt you... you feel like..." Bitch Fuck You!"
Damn...its so unexpected we cant even talk without shit gettin reckless
Its got me feelin kinda foolish another broken black home Im afraid Ill look stupid.
And I dont wanna repeat history we brought a baby in the world that needs a mother and a father see
I just wanna be together but just like my mother says nothing good lasts forever
So I think I gotta let it go and just like smooth jazz Ima take it real slow.
But lets make this clear...keep it official that you supporting your son will never be an issue
Him used as a pawn could never be the issue.
Thanks for all the good times...I never will forget you
And for all the bullshit...I pray I can forgive you
And I admit some nights I honestly do miss you.
But we could never be so I reach and grab my tissue
The love is gone...wasnt in Gods plan...but we aint gotta be together to teach our boy to be a man.
I was just a young girl
I met this boy...I never knew he'd rock my world
Now he's a man dark skin with a airbrushed fade
I let this nigga in my life now it will never be the same
He had this swag and treated me like a lady
Fuck the money he didnt need a mercedes
Cuz he was mad real and he had mad style
the way the nigga put it down that shit drove me wild
I remember all the nights he had my legs thrown back
tuggin the back of my hair he gave that ass a smack
Then I would lay inside his arms until we fell asleep
then God gave us an angel of our own we could keep.
And what felt so good somewhere went bad
I dont want to believe it...we gave it everything we had
But now things are getting worse and your not the same person
now everytime that we're together feels like we're rehearsing
Now its like you play me...then I play you...and if you get over I write an I.O.U.
Now you hate me... so I hate you
And since I hurt you... you feel like..." Bitch Fuck You!"
Damn...its so unexpected we cant even talk without shit gettin reckless
Its got me feelin kinda foolish another broken black home Im afraid Ill look stupid.
And I dont wanna repeat history we brought a baby in the world that needs a mother and a father see
I just wanna be together but just like my mother says nothing good lasts forever
So I think I gotta let it go and just like smooth jazz Ima take it real slow.
But lets make this clear...keep it official that you supporting your son will never be an issue
Him used as a pawn could never be the issue.
Thanks for all the good times...I never will forget you
And for all the bullshit...I pray I can forgive you
And I admit some nights I honestly do miss you.
But we could never be so I reach and grab my tissue
The love is gone...wasnt in Gods plan...but we aint gotta be together to teach our boy to be a man.
My Story
I was born mommas yes and daddys maybe
At fourteen we found out I wasnt daddys baby
Now Im paranoid and I dont know who to trust
Im lookin in the mirror starin...thinkin...what the fuck?
Who am I...where do I come from?
Ive been living a lie.
Mommy what have you done.
And Im young so I am askin...what did I do?
I thought that you loved me just like I loved you.
And Im praying to God because Im so confused
Lord help me out...tell me what am I to do?
Then the anger kicks in...I cant believe this shit!
Im thinkin to myself...damn lifes a bitch!
You cant trust a person as far as you can throw em.
It doesnt matter how many years you think you know em.
Then I break down I cant take it no more...tears stream from my eyes
I fall to the floor
Now Im all fucked up...I dont know what to do.
I got no where to run and no one to turn to.
And now Im looking for love in all the wrong places
Searching for smiles from all the wrong faces
And Im doing shit that I really aint supposed to do but it hurts real bad this shit Im goin through
So I roll up the green...light the L...now Im chokin.
Now Im gettin lifted from this chronic that Im smokin
Then my conscious kicks in and says "Cam Whats up?"
Im like " Man I know what you gon say and I dont give a fuck!"
"I got this void in my soul and Im tryin to fill it up...my best friend lied to me now I dont know who to trust!"
Then I hear a voice..."Cam dont play yourself, never settle for less, always love yourself, I know its rough but trust me you can make it through the storm just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep it goin"
So I took that advice and now I see things different
I no longer feel the pain from the anger and resentment
Cuz my mother tried her best to be a mother to me
And my father tried his best to be a father to me
This piece of paper is just a piece of paper you see
The fact that we aint got the same blood dont matter to me
I love you the same...I wont complain
Ill put my life on the line
When I shine you shine.
So I put the pen to the paper...transformed my poetry
I wrote it all down, my inner thoughts and my deepest dreams
The best and worst Ill tell it to the world
Maybe itll be inspiration to a lost boy or girl.
At fourteen we found out I wasnt daddys baby
Now Im paranoid and I dont know who to trust
Im lookin in the mirror starin...thinkin...what the fuck?
Who am I...where do I come from?
Ive been living a lie.
Mommy what have you done.
And Im young so I am askin...what did I do?
I thought that you loved me just like I loved you.
And Im praying to God because Im so confused
Lord help me out...tell me what am I to do?
Then the anger kicks in...I cant believe this shit!
Im thinkin to myself...damn lifes a bitch!
You cant trust a person as far as you can throw em.
It doesnt matter how many years you think you know em.
Then I break down I cant take it no more...tears stream from my eyes
I fall to the floor
Now Im all fucked up...I dont know what to do.
I got no where to run and no one to turn to.
And now Im looking for love in all the wrong places
Searching for smiles from all the wrong faces
And Im doing shit that I really aint supposed to do but it hurts real bad this shit Im goin through
So I roll up the green...light the L...now Im chokin.
Now Im gettin lifted from this chronic that Im smokin
Then my conscious kicks in and says "Cam Whats up?"
Im like " Man I know what you gon say and I dont give a fuck!"
"I got this void in my soul and Im tryin to fill it up...my best friend lied to me now I dont know who to trust!"
Then I hear a voice..."Cam dont play yourself, never settle for less, always love yourself, I know its rough but trust me you can make it through the storm just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep it goin"
So I took that advice and now I see things different
I no longer feel the pain from the anger and resentment
Cuz my mother tried her best to be a mother to me
And my father tried his best to be a father to me
This piece of paper is just a piece of paper you see
The fact that we aint got the same blood dont matter to me
I love you the same...I wont complain
Ill put my life on the line
When I shine you shine.
So I put the pen to the paper...transformed my poetry
I wrote it all down, my inner thoughts and my deepest dreams
The best and worst Ill tell it to the world
Maybe itll be inspiration to a lost boy or girl.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
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